Why does he only enjoy masturbating?

Why does he only enjoy masturbating?

My companion, whom I love, whom I desire (and vice versa), with whom I have a rich and frequent sexuality, can only ejaculate by masturbating. This is so since his first sexual intercourse. He has never been able to enjoy in the body, the hand or the mouth of a woman. He worries and does not understand. Could you give us an answer? Ariane, 37

Catherine Solano

Physician sexologist and andrologist


If your friend easily ejaculates while masturbating, it is because her body has no physical problem to ejaculate. He can not do it in a penetration report, because he is holding back, of course, of course. There may be many different reasons for this state of affairs.

He can not let go totally , let go when he makes love to a woman. Why? Only he could answer that question. It is often a very old fear, related to the relationship with his mother in childhood. And this, especially since he tells you that he had this problem of anejaculation from his first sexual intercourse.

  • It can have a "dirty" inside image of semen that is a urine-related liquid, a kind of waste (while sperm is an extraordinary substance that gives life).
  • He may be afraid to let himself go into a woman's arms, afraid of losing control in the presence of a being symbolically dangerous to him.
  • He may have a terrible fear of fatherhood, and restrain himself from risking becoming a father.
  • He can hold his pleasure, not to give joy to his partner to give him pleasure, as to not be dependent on her.

And there would still be many assumptions ... Most men who have this problem are very rigid, very moral, even moralistic. It is therefore a phenomenon that appears more easily associated with certain traits.

If this lack of ejaculation bothers both of you, which is understandable, I would recommend a psychological work that will help him work on the substance of the problem, and also to let go more easily.

=> The preferred methods: hypnosis, sophrology, relaxation ...

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