Alain Poacher: "To be a parent is also to think of oneself"

In a book sweeping the discourse on lost authority, Being a parent today (Odile Jacob, 2012), Alain Braconnier proposes three precepts within the reach of all for a "win-win" education: love, common sense and logic.

Interview by Marie-France Vigor

Why are many parents today out of date?

Alain Braconnier : They no longer live as their own parents. Fathers take a role for which they have no role model, and working mothers are tired and feel guilty. They are above all anxious to give their child maximum love, but do not know how to "do well". But before doing, one must "be" parent: to express one's love, but also to expect reciprocity, and to think of oneself. For example, the child must learn to understand the intention of the adult, not just his desire. This is how he can grow, become responsible.

Is it up to the child to adapt to his parents?

Alain Braconnier : This should not be the opposite. The parents explain themselves too much, but without really debating or establishing contracts with their child, who lives more in a world of virtual images than words and exchanges. To convince works better than to constrain, provided we use the right arguments and behave without contradictions with the values ​​we wish to convey.

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