Can we have sexual games with his brother?

Can we have sexual games with his brother?

My partner recently learned about the incest inflicted on her mother by her brother. She also told me about sex games she had with her brother. I think she minimizes them by guilt. Is it really incest or sexual games with a brother? François, Mâcon

Claude Halmos

Psychoanalyst

answers

But, dear François, sexual games between a brother and a sister are incestuous games! And that is why they must be banned and this prohibition must be clearly explained to children. Their desire to do sexual experiences is indeed normal. And, the easiest partners to find being their brothers and sisters, it makes sense for them to turn to them. Parents should explain that this is not allowed. Without, however, disgrace their sexual curiosity: sex games in fact, prohibited between children of the same family (brothers, sisters, cousins ​​etc.), are not between children from different families. Provided that these children are of the same age, all consenting and that these games do not happen in public.

This prohibition is necessary for the construction of the child and its transgression always has serious consequences. In childhood: guilt, anxiety, withdrawal, blocking of learning abilities and often delinquency. But also in adulthood, where she is, in particular, at the origin of many sexual problems. Adult sexuality with "authorized" partners in fact revives sensations experienced in childhood with incestuous partners, and unconscious guilt blocks desire. That's probably what happens to your friend. She must understand that she is guilty of nothing. Because the only ones responsible for incestuous relationships in a sibling are the parents who (like your friend's mother and her husband) did not stop them.

Also read ==> Where does incest begin?

Incest is not limited to genital rape. Some ambiguous situations are just as destructive. The victim can not put words on his suffering.

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