One question works for me: why, me who am neither uglier nor more idiot than another, have I never managed to have a relationship with someone?
I find myself pathetic. I feel useless, unable to obtain any personal satisfaction. I am not demonstrative and I have a hard time conquering women.
Of course, the context of recent years did not help me much: victim of a big depression, anorexia and bulimia ... I absolutely did not think to fall in love, my sexuality was asleep by the circumstances and medications.
Today I am better, but I lack confidence in myself and others. I try to assume but deep down, I do not love myself and I constantly wonder why someone could love me, me, ex anorexic-bulimic-depressive.
I am followed by a therapist but I do not dare to address the issue of sexuality. Sometimes I tell myself that nothing will change, that my paralysis will leave me where I am and that I am destined to suffer more and more.