Is it a solution to go live abroad?

Is it a solution to go live abroad?

I'm 27 years old. My mother shares with me her marital problems; I help my friend to carry his personal and professional anxieties. Everyone is counting on me and I can not stand it anymore. I decided to work abroad to find myself. Is it an illusion? Martine

Claude Halmos

Psychoanalyst

answers

Why would it be an illusion? You say very clearly that your life abroad - where you have been working for some time - suits you better than the one you had in France. You have "nice and carefree" friends with whom the existence is light. While in France she is punctuated by the constant anxieties of your friend that you must attend. At the point, you say, that you feel "his crutch" (not great for love, I guess!). And by the confidences of your mother who reproaches her husband - your father - for being perverse with her. And consider that you, his eldest daughter, must in this bad past hold his hand ...

All this seems actually very heavy. And we understand that you want to change atmosphere. And realized that you could do it. In circumstances that are not insignificant since it is "after dancing all night like crazy" that this possibility appeared to you. No doubt because you had just experienced a pleasure that, until then, you forbade yourself.

What do you fear? That this change of life does not change your problems of substance? Still need to know if you have any, problems of substance. And nothing is less certain. Because a life that does not suit us can, on its own, make us feel bad. Do you fear having to explain your decision to your loved ones? They will probably not be happy, but what to do?

You were born neither to be your mother's old age staff, nor your friend's "psy at home". So ... good new life Martine! My wishes are with you.

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