I lacked self-esteem for myself

" Until two years ago, love was synonymous with suffering, the mere idea of ​​having to deal with a man's misconduct led me to sabotage the slightest beginning of a relationship. who pack their bags very quickly, convinced that they definitely had a problem.

It is in this state of mind that I enrolled in the "Find the soul mate" workshop, organized by Patrick Léger. at that time, I constantly felt like I was running out of air, of freedom, the first flirt came in. And if, finally, I gave someone a chance, I was in a state of crisis as soon as he phoned me five minutes late, or I spent my time suspecting him of lies, so disgusted I slammed the door.

I tried this stage "to see". Exit in another state of mind After six days of "inner cleaning", I transformed my relationship to myself. I installed a real esteem of myself, I eased my grudges and resentments, to better listen to my needs.

How could I honestly believe that I was loved if I did not have enough self-esteem? Not easy, it's true, the first day, to be told that, if we do not support the other, it is because we do not support ourselves. I had the impression to have a fairly developed ego ...

First practice during the course: move with another trainee in front of you, holding two pencils stretched between our four indexes. Strangely, I immediately imposed the pace of my steps and the path to follow my partner. I did not give him the opportunity to express himself. At the end of the exercise, I had pressed so hard on the pencils that it had marks on the knuckles. I was caught in the act of authoritarianism ...

Another game, a little later: cross a room diagonally looking at another participant who leaves him from the opposite angle. This seemingly simple thing has been for me, and against all odds, impossible to do. I could not bear this look, destabilized by a lack of confidence in me unsuspected.

By dint of demonstrations, listening and reflections, these training days were, for me, the beginning of a sweet metamorphosis. Finally, trying to live every moment without thinking about a third of the time in the present, a third in the past and a third in the future, I learned to love and receive for free. I no longer wait, watch in hand, the call of my friend, but I now look forward to his initiatives towards me. I do not think about what he does not give me, but I enjoy what he gives me. Because I know myself self-sufficient, I was able to free myself and free him. An immense complicity and a deep love, that's what we won back."

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